"In praise of exercise" or "What a drag it is getting old"

Around this time last year, with my 30th birthday approaching, I made the decision that to stop letting my body go downhill. I was starting to feel some aches and pains, found myself tired a lot, and wondered if I'd ever be able to keep up with my two young kids. I decided not to look back on 30 and think, "Wow, that's when my body really started falling apart". Instead, I wanted to look back and say, "Wow, that's when I really started getting into shape and being healthier". Also, I really wanted Ethan and Raina to know exercise as part of their lives, and not have to struggle as adults with trying to figure out how to fit it in, how to start doing it, so on. In essence, I started hitting the gym for them.

When I got on the treadmill, I'd focus on a marquee in the lobby at our local YMCA. It says something about "strong kids, strong families, strong communities". That's what I wanted, strong kids and strong family. For months, that was my mantra as I pushed through the pain of running and went a little farther, a little faster. Till eventually I looked forward to getting on that stupid torture device.

Now, a year later, my 31st birthday is breathing down my neck. It is somehow scarier than 30. In fact, I welcomed 30. It felt so adult; as though finally my age reflected my "mature beyond my years" attitude I've had most of my life. Being out of my 20's meant not being lumped in with partying college kids anymore. It meant I was approaching that period of feeling settled in my life, accomplished, confident, and not struggling to figure out who I am. Just being who I am. Being 30 makes parenthood seem more logical. But now, with 31 rapidly approaching, I just feel like I'm getting older. Not hitting some meaningful milestone that people will laud me about. Ho hum.

In contrast to this anxiety about my 31st year, I have accomplished much. I finished my long awaited MPH, however anti-climactic. I am still regularly going to the gym. My goals have evolved though. Now I find myself running for me, building strength for me, using that time to be inside my own mind (READ: An hour or two without small children vying for my attention). The muscle toning was the first benefit. In the beginning, it was driven by vanity. We went to Florida in May, and I wanted to wear a two piece swim suit. That goal accomplished, I started to see weight drop off of me. I wasn't actively trying to lose weight, just trying not to gain it. I figured that after two kids, and reaching ever closer to middle age meant that I'd be about the weight I was, and that was fine. I'm tall and have been fortunate never to struggle with my weight, though I gain tons when I'm pregnant. I exercised very little when I was pregnant with Raina because I was just too tired, and I got very big very quickly. I was more of an athletic eater. But, to my surprise, I dropped about 15 pounds from where I was at this time last year. I weigh about what I did late in high school, but am more tone, stronger, and healthier than I was then. I FEEL better. I feel more athletic. I can run. Well. I recently did a fitness assessment, and my cardiovascular recovery is excellent. Now I am trying to improve the quality of my workouts by adding more strength training and free weights. I have these cute little muscles showing up in my arms that I didn't know could exist. So sure, I might have to work harder than I did at 17 or 19 years old, but I'm worth it, and I'm pretty sure I could kick that skinny little girl's ass.