A lot has happened in our family since my last post. I've neglected the blog terribly, and have felt really overwhelmed at the idea of trying to update all the many things we've been up to. Thanks to the magic of Facebook, most of the family and friends are already in the loop for the biggest goings-on. In a nutshell, we made a big move to a new house, new state, new job for Ben. And one of the biggest changes of all came for our little Monkey boy. Ethan started KINDERGARTEN!
It's been a baffling experience for me as a parent. For starters, how did he get big enough to go to Kindergarten? Wasn't he just a baby? Next, I'm left really missing our wonderful experience with Versailles Montessori School (VMS) in Kentucky. One of the reasons we picked our current city was because it was supposed to home to some of the best public schools in Indiana.
While the jury is still out the quality of the education my kid is receiving, I can't help but feeling that some of his learning style needs are being swept under the rug for the sake of educating lots of kids, quickly, in a small space, and with limited staff. My heart hurts for him every time he comes home disappointed, or confused, or with some weird piece of information. I want him to LOVE school. To really enjoy the process of learning and being exposed, but I think he's still trying to adjust to this new structured environment where he's forced to practice his handwriting day in and day out.
We've already moved his bedtime back to about 7:30-7:45 from the previous 8:30, to try and help him be better rested. He's complained a lot in the mornings (at 6:45am) about being too tired, and asking that I let him sleep longer. It's hard to explain to a five year old that the way you sleep longer is by going to bed earlier. The goal is to get him in bed by 7:30, but frankly, it's just hard to fit dinner and shower (much less getting to do anything extra or fun) into that little space. It does seem to have helped him get up easier, but I'm already having nightmarish visions of him having to get up nearly an hour earlier for middle and high school.
I'm disappointed with some things about the school already, and am hoping that I too adjust. For starters, gym is only two days a week, and recess is only about 15 minutes once a day. Add to it that he's so wiped out when he gets home that it's all I can do to peal him from the couch, and I'm worried about what sort of long term habits he's developing. Oh, and then there's lunch. For my slow-as-molasses-boy, a fast paced meal at 10:20 in the morning is not exactly ideal. The Public Health person in me is screaming, "This is how obesity starts!!!!! ARGGGGGHHHHHH!" Heaven forbid that public schools be able to set up good habits. I know they're strapped for time and money and space, but it makes me want to pull my hair out. Where are our priorities people? But I digress...
Among the weird/not good things that have come home: Ethan has reported to me that he has to use five different colored crayons on everything he colors because it's some sort of rule, based in the notion that "great artists use five colors". I have no idea what he's talking about, but in my be-true-to-thyself spirit, I have told him to directly defy this rule and color his pictures any way he pleases, and defer his teachers to me. Oy. Yesterday was one of the saddest things he's told us so far. He said that his teacher told the class that "this was one of their worst days ever". She apparently said this to the class as a whole, but Ethan was unable to verbalize what exactly she was referring to, and had clearly taken the comment personally, even though he reports he was being good. Now, if you know Ethan, you know that this is not a kid that has trouble verbalizing ANYTHING. He verbalizes so much it makes me nuts sometimes. But what confounds me is how someone who works with kindergarten age kids for a long time doesn't get that they can be sensitive and overly general about such things.
For me, it really brings back some of my worst school experiences, like my second grade language arts teacher who called me by the wrong name ALL year long. Being the very shy seven year old that I was, I don't know that I ever corrected her, or if I did, gave up after the first couple of times. She was old and stern, and once reprimanded me for tapping my shoes on the floor when I'd dazed off into a daydream. It reminds me of the rare experience of having my name written on the board after I misunderstood a teacher's order, and mistakenly disobeyed her. It also reminds me that the good teachers, the really good ones, the ones that see you for who you are, and tap into your talents, and really teach you, and make you love learning, are the rare ones. And I hope my little boy finds one soon.
He's also come home with some new words and phrases and attitudes...yes, already. One of the funnier ones came yesterday. He was hungry and ate the unbruised portion of the banana left in his lunchbox. It ended up being about 3/4 of the banana that he ate, but for some reason, he really had his mind on eating a whole one. He comes to me sitting at my computer and says flatly, "Whatever, I'm having another banana". It was such a strange and grown up thing for him to say. A few days ago, in a much less endearing moment, I heard him using a derogatory word, (that he has most certainly never heard at home) while trash talking a villain on his video game. That word, which starts with an f and rhymes with "hag", seemed so foreign coming out of his mouth, that I made him repeat it three or four times to understand what he was saying. I explained that he was never, ever to say that word, and let it go at that. Seriously, we're about four weeks into school and this is starting already? Where could he have heard that among elementary school kids? The bus maybe?
On a more positive note, he does seem to be adjusting, though he is living for his days off, and his precious time playing Lego Star Wars on the xbox. He's made friends with his "bus buddy", though that kid did tell him the end of "Return of the Jedi" the night before Ethan got to finish the movie on his own. Sigh. It is hard to know if we're making the right decisions for him, and I sense that this feeling never really goes away. Maybe once I'm comfortably in the nice nursing home, I'll feel like I've done the right things for him.
